How well do you really know....

Without looking/Checking:


How many full lines are on the palm of your hand? Could you draw them on a piece of paper without looking?


What color are your best friend’s eyes?


What is your fav family member's favorite song? (Or that one that they always hum randomly)


Little things happen around us everyday, constantly, repeatedly, how many of them do you notice, can recall to memory. What’s pressing on your mind right now? Is it something that worrying cant fix? Are you actively trying to fix/change/improve it? If not why are you worrying? Why are you letting things you don’t have control over and have no imitative to change take up space in your head?


How much do you really know? Why do you think you know these things? Because you CHOSE to retain them?


It has always been my belief that we put our mind (and time and money) to the things that we care about the most. So when someone tells me they miss me, or they have been thinking of me, I always search for evidence. If you can’t remember that I don’t like to be called Mel or that I hate monkeys or that I don't believe in zombies, I wonder at the level of care. I'm not vain enough to think anyone would be thinking of me 24/7 but the amount of info retained correlates to the amount of care, notice to me
Am I wrong?

Some times you just have to say...Thank You

Mary Mary - Thank You
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaYWFdMk3nI


Tragedies are commonplace

All kinds of diseases, people are slipping away

Economies down, people don't get

Enough pay

But as for me all I can say is

Thank you Lord for all you done for me



Folks without homes are in the streets

And the drug habit some say

They just can't beat

Muggers and robbers, no place seems

To be safe

But you've been my protection every

Step of the way

And I want to say

thank you Lord for all you've done

For me hey?



[Lead:] It could've been me

[Chorus:] Thank you

[L:] Outdoors

[C:] Thank you

[L:] With no food

[C:] Thank you

[L:] And no clothes

[C:] Thank you

[L:] All left alone

[C:] Thank you

[L:] Without a friend

[C:] Thank you

[L:] Or just another number

[C:] Thank you

[L:] With a tragic end

[C:] Thank you

[L:] But you didn't see fit

[C:] Thank you

[L:] To let none of these things be

[C:] Thank you

[L:] You keep on, keeping on, keeping me

[C:] Thank you

[L:] I wanna say

[Chorus:] Thank you Lord for all you've done for me



I wanna thank you for your love

Thank you for your power

Thank you for protection, every hour

Thank you

What is right?

I often struggle with ideas on religion and politics and when the two should be intertwined. My atheist associates will tell you that never the twine shall meet. I don't think I can agree there. I think many political view points, and our ability to accept them, or not accept them is directly related to our moral compass. And our moral compass is defined in many ways, not the least of which, for those who believe, is our religious affiliation.


I mention this because I struggle with the argument for the necessity for greed. I think it is something we can function without. It encourages all the negative vices of humans, and is in fact one of the deadly sins. But In discussions I have had with others they say that with out greed, humans would be lazy, unimaginative and become stagnant. We need motivation. Is greed the only way? Is apple only successful because of Mr. Jobs obsession with being the best? Does a company focused on having the best product and not on having the best profits fair worse in the marketplace? Are those two concepts related?


To me greed is an excessive desire for something, especially for things that are not needed. If you have everything you need, are comfortable and happy, do you think that would prevent you from expanding your mind? For me Greed is a materialistic thing. I don’t have an issue with a person wanting to know more, or prefect a skill. As long as those things aren’t to the detriment of others, (ie you don’t stop others in their quest for more knowledge or betterment of themselves).


Perhaps I’m too idealistic. I want to be optimistic about human nature, I want to believe that we can be good, if we chose to be, but capitalism and commercialism does not lend itself to those qualities. If everything around you is focused on telling you that you aren’t happy. That you need more, that you have to be better, how can the society function with out greed.


And I brought up religion for this reason. If you do not believe, its your moral compass that directs your actions, that tells you right from wrong, what outside of religion/spiritual belief stops you from not focusing only on carnal needs? I am asking for specific answers here, not an attack on religion/spiritual connections. What stops an unbeliever from not only focusing on self and family? Social stigma? Lack of power? Lack of ambition? Lack of resources?


If you don’t believe in something, you don’t feel anything when you don’t adhere to the rules of it. So if you don’t believe in a law, do you still follow it? Why? The ramifications? Because you can SEE jails and prisons? What is good? What is right? If the basic human feeling is to SURVIVE, what stops you from doing those things that hurt others?


~~MissMelony

www.youtube.com/watch?v=M37VucWh06Y

Why be bitter?

Don't you mess with a little girl's dream
'Cause she's liable to grow up mean


I am never bitter about men, because of a few things:

I've seen good men, fathers, brothers, husbands, uncles, friends.
I know that not all men are the same, they dont all act the same with each woman in thier life.
I believe that people can change, grow, evolve.

I have had more than my share of bad relationships (if you even want to call them that). i have met almost ever personality type, had my share of the good too. But I haven't had that one... that special one that made me think my dreams of love had come true. But this doesnt make me give up my belief in love. And I cant blame a whole gender of people for it not happening yet.

Choices play a huge part in why things happen (or dont happen). While I was saying yes to "mr. wrong" maybe "mr. right" saw me and that I was "taken". Maybe I didnt know what i wanted when the very thing I was searching for was in front of me. Or maybe I'm just not ready to find "him" yet because there is still more things to "fix" about MELONY.

So I dont see the point in being bitter. If you say "all the men i ever met/hook up with/date" are all horrible... thats more a refelction on you and your choice making than the gender with the Y chromosome

Took it again.. disorder

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	High
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	High
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	High
Dependent Personality Disorder:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

Im not sure if I'm better or worse lol

This isnt love

I wish you could see what you do to me
I wish you could feel what this pain does to my soul
Like sharp knives in the back, piecing and painful
My head so full it hurts, my heart aching to be released from its misery
I wish you could feel how it feels to love you

Love shouldnt hurt like this
It should be open and honest and true
It should be complete and shared
It should fulfill needs and satisfy wants
It should be real

I wish you could see the scars of my heart
I wish you could feel the strain its under
Like a burden that breaks the back of slaves
My heart endures the pain my head has decided to ignore
I wish you could feel how it feels to love you

Love shouldnt cause pain
It should be caring and thoughtful
It should be honesy and trusting
It should fill you with hope and desire
It should be true

But thats not how it feels to "love" you

Beginning

i could write.. i could write tomes
I could describe with flagrant phrases
I could define it with the finesse of a scholar
I could exalt it like the best reporter
I could espouse like the most devout of monks
I could outline it like the best professors
I could proclaim it like the hearld of the square

But all I can do is smile... and the words are all there

release

You cut me
But this blood is not for you
You are not the reason this life force spills from my veins
There is no relation to your actions
This is coincidence and Juxtaposition
You are just witness to the release

I am crying
These tears are not for you
This hot sting leaving stains on my cheeks is a cleansing
Not a trial of sadness painting pain
This is openness and vulnerability
You are just witnessing release

They hurt me
My pain is all my own
A perfect machine built for battle learns to realign
These are growing spurts
This is life and reality
You are just a witness to my release

November...

What's my Name

Yum
Smile
Sweety
Interesting
Thoughtful
Sweet
Unique
Quirky
Beautiful
Ravising
Delightful
Sexy
Smart
Amusing
Nyquil
Glasses
Puzzle
Exuberant

I asked my G+ circles to list a word that described me to them. The list was interesting and warming. I decided to write a poem using the words. Here it is.

Thoughtful, that is how she lives her life.
So amusing are the small wonders that fill her day
People, places, and things make her smile.

Delightful, the thoughts that fill her mind,
Most of the time... though her rose colored glasses might hid small pains
The puzzle of her purpose causes her much concern.

Beautiful, the moments she shares with you.
This quirkylady makes a point to make you feel good
Interesting those who fight her goal.

Exuberant, her spirit will fill you.
Her sexy persona yearns to fill you with pleasure
Her sweetness can calm you like Nyquil
Her sexy is a drug
By design, Sweety, she loves because she was made to.

Ravishing, how she see the world around her
The beauty and wonder of all that there is and all that can be, yum!
A unique outlook on life leaves her soul heavy
Her longing for the sweet thrill of justice and peace can be tiring
And might not be smart , but it is what keeps her happy.

end scene

Watching you from across the room
I knew instantly I had made a mistake
The feelings the swelled inside me,
especially in areas I am to shy to admit
were overwehlming
The look in your eyes told me everything I had always tried to deny
It was too late to turn back
Too hard to resist
The curtains had been open.

The show began, we played our parts well
reading the lines we believed we were supposed to
be played pretend, we acted accordingly
And we thought, for a moment that we had fooled the world
We could play by the rules
The table reading lacked the intensity
But anyone could see there was something lurking
An essence that had yet to be released

Then you decided to ad lib
Your lips speaking what came from your heart
And the plot changed
Sepia turned to color
Dimmers turned to bright lights
And the plot became clear
This was a love story in three parts

ACT ONE
The affair was short but satisfying
Fulfilling needs and wants
Opened eyes
Opened hearts
Opened minds
It was something needed and longed for
It grew out of necessity and pressure
And no two actors were better suited for the parts
I gave all I had ever learned
And you played off me like a master
You taught me so much through your craft
The audience could see the art we created
It was intense and real
But was it just an affair?

September 15

What is the D for?

You signed it
And the only thing I was left to wonder was
What the D stands for
I could ask you but recently
I am weary of the answer my questions
Hearts that hope are often disappointed
They still hope though.
I digress, what is the D for?
Determined?
I'm sure that's possibly
What that D stands for
Focused and unyielding
Eyes pinpointed on what you want
Ready for the attack
You know what you want and you go for it
Your prey never stands a chance
at first glace you win
I digress, what is the D for?
Direct?
To the point
Is that why I should know
What that D stands for?
No word, thought or action wasted
Enough words, spoken and written
To state your point
And though some may question
Posturing for more is worthless
no matter how interested  the heart is
I digress, what is the D for?
Divine?
Heaven sent
The Joy of a Mother's eye
The cure for the pain
Love's rain?
Spiritually gifted tho
I dont know if you believe
I digress what is the D for?
Today it stands for
Dreams differed
Destinies unknown
Deliverance
And Done

My reintroduction to DMX

So I was having a discussion on Twitter (as I often do) and got into the merits of DMX. I had never really been a fan of his. As I tweeted his barking and over use of his name made me uncomfortable. He seemed to be discussing subjects that were beyond my relation and well I just wasn't that interested.


But as I increase my circle of creative friends, my eyes are often open to new things, and to re-examining things that I had over looked in the past. I asked what was DMX's best album and got a variety of responcces, but the one most mentioned was

It's Dark And Hell Is Hot

These are my thoughts as I listened thru the 19 tracks:

Intro: 

"That's my man's and em..."

I was not impressed by the intro, it reminded me of basic rappers songs that get tweeted on my timeline daily, nothing spectacular just  dude telling you he's rough and tough and will bark your house down and he does and he does it all to support his man and em. Ok... well I hope it gets better...

Ruff Riders Anthem : 

"Give a dog a bone (what)

leave a dog alone (what)
let a dog roam and he'll find his way home (what)"

I alway did like the song "Ruff Ryders Anthem" made me wish I had a crew. I like the beat, its head bopable. And I like his flow, simple but it gets the point across. More violence and warnings... am i supposed to like him or be scared he might kill me?



Fuckin' Wit' D: "I DON'T A FUCK ABOUT CH'YALL NIGGAZ CAUSE Y'ALL AIN'T KILLIN' NUTTIN'" .... oh. I am beginning to think DMX might have some unresolved issues, and then right there in the song he tells us he has issues "Listed as a manic depressin' with extreme paranoia" ahhh... that might explain the violencia. I'm beginning to wonder abou this man...why is he so angry? Where are all these "dogs" and why does he feel like he always has to defend something? Interlude "The Storm Like all rappers, D's got haters... Look Thru My Eyes "Look in my eyes, see what I see Do what I do, be what I be Walk with my shoes that hurt your feet And know why I lurk the streets " Delving deeper into the questions already posed in my head from the first couple tracks. This man isout to prove something... im still trying to fiure out what tho. He's hurting over something too. i wanna know where it stems from. Just a hard life? "Feel the pain, feel the joy, of a man who was never a boy. For real. " Get at me Dog
I liked the beat on this song. D still sounds mad, I still don't know why. I am nut really relating to the album, but I can understand why people feel him. If you always feel like you got to fight for what you want in life and people 
underestimate you... yea... I guess I can related
I do not like the use of the word fag... but thats my prejudice to the word.





"The days are longer and seems like I'm wastin time
I've got a lot of dreams but I'm not really chasing mine" ...but why not Mr. X? Why not?


Let Me Fly
Is this man singing? Ya'll get on Drake for singing but I think every rapper has sung a few bars. Anyway I feel like this is the most emotional that D has been so far. Well that wasnt anger. I like it.


"There's a difference between, doin' wrong and being wrong and that ain't right"
...true


X-is Coming
"One two X is coming for you Three four better lock your door Five six get yo' crusifix Seven eight don't stay up late"


Kid voices in eerie music always gives me chills...
This song disturbed me... who is he talking to?!
He's raping children, wives, and brutally killing... what does one have to do to get this wrath from D? Who hurt you D? WHO HURT YOU?


Damien
"The Snake, the rat, the cat, the Dog, how you gonna see them when you living in the fog" 


How It Goin Down
The intro to this song was hilarious. I kinda like when D does "love" songs. Why is it always shady tho? Id DMX married?


Crime Story
The calmness with which he raps about blowing up a police station makes me think this man does not like the police...


Stop Being Greedy
I wanna know who he is talking to? Other rappers? I think he knows his potential and he is reaching his dreams, but how do you bring that old mentality to a new hustle?


ATF
Yikes, that played like a movie scene. He def knows how to paint pictures with words


For My Dogs
How nice of him to let his friends rap on his album about how awesome her is...


I Can Feel It
I love the song this was sampled from.
I get the feeling you should never turn your back on this man. He remembers everything I wonder how much of his music is from real things that have happened...


The Convo
I have convos like this with God all the time... i feel this song. I feel his emotion. These are questions many people have. I love the pictures he paints. I give him points for that




Niggaz Done Started Something
MASE! I used to love his flow. I enjoyed the flow of this song.


One line tho kinda summed up the album for me...


Yeah I hear niggaz, but I still don't feel em.




But I can see the talent and enjoyed the listen.

New

HEY!

LOOKIE HERE!

WE GOT A NEW LOOK!

Big shout out to Chris Roberts for the new design.

Perhaps this will get me to get back on my blog game... I will admit I took Aug off. But I'm back...

How did you spend your summer?

Lessons

Some people crave attention like a drug. It's a terrible addiction. It hurts them. It scars them. It is an obvious addiction that many exploit and use against them. Don't feed the addict, teach them how to wean themselves off the drug. Everyone cant love you. Everyone is not your friend. This should not stop you from being authentically you however. Treat others well, and how they would like to be treated to your own ability. Everything else is left to fate and chance and the Plan.


I say these words because I need to hear them.

*Take ownership*

Things happen int he world. In your personal, your work life, all around. Some of these things we have no control over: The weather, the actions of others, sickness, disease, market fluctuations. Some of them we do: Occupation, who we share our life with, how we react to the things that happen in our life. Life isn't fair, things happen , some good and some bad. We cant blame everything bad on others and take credit for everything good. No matter what your belief system is, you didn't get to where you are all alone. Some where along the way you interacted with someone, something. But For those things that are all you... take ownership. Be responsible. Someone is watching you. Someone is looking for direction, a hint of whats possible. Be that light. And when you stumble, get up, dust off and keep going. But remember the fall, know where you dont wanna be, and keep headed to where you are going.

Fin

July 31st

This is why I'm single - Story 1

I'm going to start posting my misadventures in love. if there is enough interest I will make a separate blog... for now... here's a day in my life

So im walking down the street and im standing at the corner waiting for the light to change.

I had noticed a Dunkin Donuts and was thinking to myself, on my walk back this way I will stop and get a coolata ( i like to mix the vanilla with the strawberry).

So i'm standing there and i hear this guy on the phone:

Guy: Hey man let me call you right back, this lady in a red dress just walked by and I cant focus on what you saying

I giggle

Guy: Naw for real man ima hit you right back, Ima talk to her for a min

I turn to see who this dude is

Guy: And she got cute feet too man, naw, ima call you back after i holla at her, aight? aight. peace

Excuse me miss...

So im smiling cause i think its hilarious, he asks me some questions (the light changes twice btw)

Him: Please tell me you arent married

Me: im not

Him: Are you involved

Me: Slight pause... No ... but im not from here

Him: where you from?

Me: Boston

Him: Now thats funny, the person i just got off the phone with is in Boston

Me: (in my head) uh oh (out loud) cool

Him: So how long you here?

Me: Til Sunday

Him: oh so we gonna have to work quick, get engaged and married and intro you to the folks

Me: LOL

Him: Just playing but can i get your number



He was pleasant and not hard on the eyes. I thought it was a funny exchange and since Ill be coming to ny for work for the next few months why the hell not. Anyway i doubt he will call me so im not too worried

It felt like he was gonna ask me if we could hang out that day, but i had plans with friends already so i made my excuses and began to walk away.

Him: im the jealous type so if you meeting up with a dude i might have to mess homie up

me: nervous giggle *walks faster*

Looked back to see if he was watching me walk... he was.

I didnt go back that way on my return to the hotel

I wanted that damn coolata tho...

The dress that caused the issue:
















I for got to mention: He called my number while I was standing there to prove it was real... 0.o

Didnt even try to play it off like he wanted to give me his or anything, just straight up said " I hope you gave me a real number"

Yup.



This is why I'm single