Fat girl in a little seat...


407-Pound Woman Denied Flights Home, Dies Abroad

 This story (linked above) made me think of so many things.
When I was bigger, I remember flight attendants giving me funny looks sometimes when I boarded airplanes, or being extra loud when asking me if i needed a seat belt extender. They weren't all like that. Some would discreetly hand me seat belt extenders before I asked for them. Like they were handing me some forbidden object that was secret and vile all at the same time. There were some who felt that my comfort was just as important as everyone else on the plane. But those were few and far between. What most of them saw was a potential issues. And I suppose that is their job. They have to be aware of whats going on on the plane so they can prepare. But I dont think many people enjoy being looked at like an "issue".


 I remember people being asked to be moved because they thought they would be cramped sitting next to me. The alarmed looks of people as i moved down the isle towards their row. I could almost hear them praying pleading in their mind "Please dont let her seat be next to me. Trust me Mr. Business Man, I dont want to be squished next to you either. I want my personal space. I dont want to go home smelling like your cologne, but we dont have much choice so why not be a dear and not hog the arm rest. 

About those arm rests, as a girl with hips I have built in places to rest my arms. And those arm rests get in the way. Its much more comfy for me to have them up. Well the one on the right side anyway. I like to sit on the left side of the plane, not sure why but its a preference. And I like the window. Because when I get on a plane I dont move. I buckle up and im there until we land. Nothing worse than someone in a window seat who has a love affair with going to the bathroom. But I digress.

I remember the looks of precocious children, who apparently had never seen a fat black woman before. Being stared at like you are an animal, some specimen to be examined and critiqued is not always fun. I remember.

I dont wave the fat flag. I dont see any merit in being unhealthy and large. I do support confidence and self assurance tho. Not every fat person is unhealthy, not every thin person is fit. So its a balance. Its  an issue. Its something we need to not avoid, but...no one ever wants to talk about it.

Comments

  1. I appreciate this. I've felt those same feelings on an airplane. I have thick legs too so I feel your armrest plight.

    I remember one time as soon as I got on the plane, the attendant was like "hey, I'll get an extender for you" In my mind, I was "But I don't need one..." The seatbelt was a snug fit but I didn't need an extender. She forced it on me, I wore it. It WAS more comfortable but I didn't like the assumption. I get the aisle as often as I can because I HATE the middle, though I almost never get up either.

    I feel you...

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  2. Situated in the middle seat on a red-eye flight home after attending my cousin's funeral, I wound up smack dab next to the "fat man". I walked up, saw him there and almost turned around to ask to be moved. But I knew the flight was full and I knew it was the last one home that night. I was exhausted, emotionally drained and had just found out I was pregnant to boot.

    The lady on the other side of me lifted the armrest and kindly patted the seat next to her, "You can share with me." To be honest, there was more than enough space in our seat and a half for the two of us.

    On the flight, all three of us were too embarrassed to really strike up a conversation. I could tell he was trying so hard to stay in the confines of his seat.

    I was so pissed at the airline. Essentially, they denied all THREE of us the opportunity to travel in comfort and with respect.

    There was no real way for any of us to handle it other than to just push through. Just because he was large, didn't mean he shouldn't be able to travel. On the reverse, I paid for my seat and wasn't able to utilize the space that was deemed mine for the duration of the flight.

    I'm not sure there's a "fair" way to handle it - but a dignified and respectful way would have been to have larger spaces for larger people. No easy way out, but I promise you - he had my sympathy and empathy that night, all the same while I was fighting an inner prejudice against him.

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