Eighteen ..... I just don't know what I want




For the past 5 weeks, Fridays have been terrible. Now Friday's used to be my favorite day of the week. But as of late I dread them. It really starts on Thursday night. I feel drained in all ways and just wanna sleep forever, but Friday has become my busiest day at work. I'm sure thats added to it. Knowing that I can only do so much before 5pm on Friday and having to think about it all weekend. My dad is always saying don't stress about it. He's right, as per usual. Because really if i died tomorrow they would find someone else to do it. And no one should die from stress.

I know that I have complete control over my emotions and feelings. I have control on how I react to things. I need to remind myself daily. I throw these pity parties and of course no one comes, who wants to be around Sad Sally. If only the people in my life knew that just a word form them, a simple "hey" would end the pity party and get me back on track. But I'm not really one to come right out and say that's what I need. It's silly to have to ask for attention, even though I know I do it subconsciously all the time. I just like to know I have a reason for being, besides whatever my own goals and plans are. I'd like to know that it matters if I do them or not. Otherwise... whats the point...

Anyway to kick the mood, I'm gonna play some Wii and get lost in the video game world... see ya when I see ya

(This is why I don't usually post on Friday's)