(Untitled)

Yea, I've decided, its me.
It has to be. Somethings I've done and don't do
A punishment for an uneventful childhood
A curse for a lustful spirit
I don't know what it is exactly for sure
But it has to be me

What other reason is there for the repeated offenses
I am left with no other defenses
When every game ends in the exact same score.
You 1 Me 0
The players change and still I can't win
And I play by the rules,
Maybe I have the wrong playbook
Maybe I'm trying too hard
But I see others work with far less
And get to their happiness
or perceived happiness
and at this point I could possibly settle for that

I'm sick of reading this book
Each chapter seems hauntingly familiar
though the characters evolve and changes
the Protagonist has yet to reach the climax
Where is my breakthrough
The plots changes
The words grow more complex
But the Hero doesn't win
I want a best seller
I don't want to resort to cliff notes

I don't want to watch this movie
I know the plot too well
Boy and girl meet and she bonds
Something, something, heartbreak --hers.
Never ending story of loneliness
Is it always her fault?
So she's convinces herself
She's the only one to get and take the blame
Because bitter is not my way

I want to change the channel
This TV show is in rerun
We all know how the series ends
Always the other and never the One
Too much to handle despite all the fun
And every time I tried to move on
Last week's episode plays in my head
The clliffhanger is no surprise
The resolution will never come
I jumped the shark too long ago
And now noone even watches

So blame the player, the author, the actress, the star.
For being everything she is
Though it's everything people claim to need
It's never what they really want
Or the reverse
Whatever the case
I will continue to be all I am
And maybe one day it will be enough...