Take Five

So 5 days ago I started my journey into my new season. I'm not really sure what triggered me to do it exactly. A combination of my birthday, things going on in my life, and needed to take a step back and really take a look at myself.

I have to say the first couple days were rough. Day one is always easy.. you have a new lease on life, ready for action, take the lead and go. But by day three i was realizing that this isn't going to be easy. There are obstacles in my way. And the main obstacles was myself.

So on Saturday I decided to Take Five, and just reflect. Reflect on all that I allowed myself to absorb over the past 5 days. I talked to friends and co-workers, potential lovers and enemies and tried to gain and understanding of my as-is state.

Yea I decided to make this a science project of sorts. In order to really take a good assessment you have to look at all the variables. And in order to make any change you have to understand what you are working with. So here's what we have:

Nigerian Jamaican American
Attractive in her own way
People Person
Optimistic (about some things)
Realistic (about other things)
Faithful to her beliefs
Hates: Rudeness, Liars, Cheaters, feeling foolish, disappointing people
Loves: Making people happy, learning new things, music, ice cream

These are things I know. This is what I want people to know about me. But there are somethings I chose not to always notice about myself. For one I'm a passionate person, this we know, but sometimes I let my passion/emotions cloud my logic. I'm a people person, yes, but sometimes I can be a people pleaser and that is not a good thing. You can't make all the people happy all the time. I hate it when people are unhappy with me. It makes me feel like I failed at something. But somethings are beyond my control and I need to accept that.

I also need to learn to be more aware of perception. Perception is not always reality.... more on that tomorrow...

Day 6 was full of emotion. No poem today because I performed one.

For him, and it didn't even matter...